Chet Watkins makes Megawatt debut on Wednesday

I'm on the Magnet Theater 's newest improv comedy house team, Chet Watkins (you can friend "him" on Facebook). This is also the first resident ensemble I've ever been put onto so I'm very excited about our upcoming debut show. In order for us to have frequent performances in the future we need to do two things: Have awesome shows and bring awesome audience members. The second part is where you come in. We have two shows in March and it would mean the world to me if you come on out and support the group. The details are as follows:

Wednesday March 4th, 10:00 PM w/ Hello Laser $5 (our debut show)
Wednesday March 25th, 8:30 PM w/ CRUSH $5 (the show that's right after my bday)
Wednesday April 1st, 7:00 PM w/ Dynasty
Wednesday April 8th, 7:00 PM w/ Dynasty
Wednesday April 15th, 7:00 PM w/ Dynasty
Wednesday April 15th, 11:30 PM co-hosting the Magnet mixer

Magnet Theater
254 W. 29th Street (b/w 7th & 8th Avenue)
(212) 244-8824 - Call for reservations. Be sure you tell them you are there to see Chet!

We also have a great cast of players to further fuel the excitement!

Chris Camp, Kelly Kreye, Christine Magee, Dave Maulbeck, Christian Paluck, Lizzie Redner, Jana Schmieding and Dave Thunder

Directed by Alan Fessenden

Thanks again everyone. Let's have a beer after the shows!

Re-imagining This Blog

Well.

Yes it has been awhile. I guess I've been thinking about how to refocus this blog and do something a little more interesting with it.

I obviously haven't come up with an answer yet. In the mean time Twitter has been filling the void of a blogging past as of late. It's also good for the lazy in all of us, I can get what I want to get out there in a line or two.

I'll figure something out eventch.

I did want to also use this post to advertise the new shows I'll be performing in. I recently was placed on a Megawatt Team at the Magnet Theater which I am very excited about. Our first performance is with Hello Laser on Wednesday March 4th at 10PM. I would love to see you there! If you can't make that show our following show will be on March 25th at 8pm. Updates to come!

Subway Fight

For all you New Yorkers out there.  How often do you really get to see an old fashion throw down?  It really doesn't happen that much anymore... I guess unless you are a drunk angry person from Staten Island or New Jersey.  Then you probably see it all the time, if you aren't already involved with a brawl yourself.  So imagine my surprise when I walked into a delicious Subway resturant (not the public transportation) on 8th Avenue between 39th & 40th street on Thursday night only to be greeted by a full out brawl between a customer and the only guy working behind the counter.  

I hadn't eaten anything for dinner and was running late for improv practice.  So I did what any other normal sane person would do.  I stood and watched, and pretended to ignore what was going on by fake texting on my cell phone.  

Apparently the customer was upset that the sub he wanted wasn't a part of the infamous "5 dollar foot long deal".  He didn't take too kindly to this.  When I walked in they were just slappin at each other from over the counter.  It quickly progressed with a bunch of profanities and a walk to the end of said counter where some all out knuckle sandwiches were served.  I was feeling a bit impatient and yelled out that I was hungry.  This was largely ignored by the two large fighting men.  I'm not sure how I was expecting them to react.  Obviously it would be I ideal if they had stopped right there, resolved their differences and together made me the sandwich of my dreams.  

Instead I had to walk next door and get a shitty cold piece of pizza for $2.50.  At least that was served to me with a smile.  

Next time, maybe I'll throw down too.

Here's an extended version of the 5 dollar footlong song for your pleasure.  It's catchy and awesome.

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I drew the first thing that came to my head

... and it was this.  What the f' is wrong with me. 

Intelligent 2012 YouTube comments

As we enter this new year of ours, 2009, one must consider the possibility that we are now within 3 measly calendar years of the predicted end of the world.  

I watched a YouTube video of something the history channel aired on the subject this evening and was graced by this intelligent comment by lilshawty562:

man fuck this when this fucking shit happen im gonna say fucking bring it on but its not gonna happen there just scaring us! dont listen to those fucking cock suckers scientists

Yes lilshawty, let's not listen to those cocksuckers indeed.



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8 Weeks to Live on Tuesday nights

I'm really quite proud of the work my Team Performance group is doing at the Magnet Theater and I would love to have you in the audience for some of the shows in our run!

The name of the group is 8 Weeks to Live.  

The roster of comedy people is the following:

Brad Engle, Lizzie Goldberg-Redner, Kelly Kreye, Michael Lutton, Jana Schmieding, Lauren Strope, Adam Taylor and myself.  

We're on every Tuesday night through the beginning of February!

Piecing together my past

I was thinking the other day about the time I got bit in the face by a dog.  

I was really young, probably no older than six or seven years of age.  I lived next door to an extremely nice old couple.  The Cocadrilli's... I have no idea how to spell their name.  While I can't remember details, I think I generally remember them being friendly towards me.  I liked them!  They even had a great female dog named Una.  They often let me play with Una.  I used to think Una kinda smelled like peanut butter.

One day my parents brought me over to visit the Cocadrilli's.  It was a special day because Una was about to give birth.  This is where my memory gets hazy.  Apparently... from what I remember... the "adults" were talking out in the living room or kitchen.  I wandered off into the garage where Una was in a box in either a pre or post birth phase.  I don't remember which.  I of course thought it would be a great idea to play with her.  I ran right over to the box (where were the adults!?) and started shaking it and playfully patted Una on the head.  She started growling, I got really scared and screamed.  As I screamed, she jumped up and bit my face off. 

That's right... bit my face off (right above my lip).  I was bleeding everywhere.  I was crying.  The adults were horrified.  The room was spinning and next thing I knew I had to be rushed to the hospital.  I was hurt and obviously upset, but more annoyed that I had to go to the hospital.  I hated and still do hate hospitals.  The old people would always want to touch me and talk to me and I didn't like it.  

Now this could be completely false but for some reason I have a distinct vision of some doctor telling me that if the dog bit me a millimeter more in a certain direction on my face, it would have hit some crazy nerve and caused DEATH.  

Mind you this happened right after my friend Matt Dagastino read my palm at a Albany-Colonie Yankees minor league baseball game and told me I was going to die in eleven days (I didn't sleep for three nights).  

Anyway, I digress.  I eneded up having to get stiches and I went on with my life.  The memory has stuck with me though.  And to be honest.  I really don't know how much of it is true.  When I think about it, I envision it in a dream like state.  In slow motion.  In a room I've never seen before.  And my parents running towards me but they are 100 feet tall and a football fields length away.  For all I know, it never happened and I completely dreamed this.  

I could have even dreamed the Matt Dagastino part although that detail seems to stick with me cause I think my friends sang the whole 99 bottles of beer song on the way home from the game while I sat stunned in fear in the back seat.   

Well... I'm happy to report that I'm still here on Earth.  But as I get ready to go to bed right now I think to myself... how many other details in stories and memories are actually TRUE... completely?! Have I fabricated or just completely made up stuff over the years?  Do I even have any real memories?  Whoa man, heavy... h-e-a-v-y.

John Hancock?

Apparently Facebook thinks that I should know John Hancock. We have some mutual acquaintances.

 

FALCOOOO PAWWWNNNCH

Next time I take this long of a break from posting be sure to falco punch me when you see me.

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Tomorrow! I <3 NY/I HATE NY. Magnet Theater

Wall of Cookies

I'm going home for Thanksgiving this year.  This requires me to take some time off from work.  I sent an email to my co workers telling them that I'll have to eat my way through a wall of cookies when I get back to Burnt Hills; my Mom still frequently sends really good cookies to the office every now and again.    

I recieve a response from De Huang.  It's below.

I can always appreciate a good MS Paint job.

That's a starter jacket I'm wearing in that picture.

It's from 2002.  

Another co-worker responds to the email - "I must remind everyone that Starter jackets were cool in 1992."

This is me sitting in a small chair

There are times where I think that I will never grow up to be a fully matured human being. Looking at this picture of me makes me further realize this realization. (photo credits to my friend Karen)

That's a bagel I'm eating.  And a mini chair I'm sitting in.  

Kevin Boss can jump!

I had two shows on Sunday night so I only got to watch the Giants game starting in the 3rd quarter.  There were a lot of great moments in yet another dominant Giant victory.  My favorite though was Kevin Boss completely hurdling one of the Eagles defenders.  Boss is one big dude.  I give him much respect for this.

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Also, I think Eagles fans need to start worrying about their playoff hopes. 0-3 in the NFC East? I dunnnnno.

This is why people hate New York

I performed a show at the Broadway Comedy Club. I had to take a picture of the drink menu with my camera phone.

The picture is a bit blurry.  But if you look closely... you can see the price of beer at this place.  $8.00 for Budweiser/Bud Light or Michelob ultra.  $9 for a Corona, Heniken or Amstel Light.  Every show at the Broadway Comedy club requires a two drink minimum of the audience.  

What the hell is wrong with you people!  That is just straight up douchey.  I don't care about what their reasons are be it the economy, high rent costs for the building, low turnouts/audiences, whatever.  8-9 bucks for a beer is straight douchey, especially if you are FORCING the audience to buy two.  

This weeks awesome video game music clip

Saw this via Boing Boing today...

Sometimes it's easy to forget how cool music from the Nintendo Gameboy sounded back in the day.  This is a great animated boxing video using the gameboy music chip type sound.  Check it out. 

Today's Fortune (not election related)

I went to get Chinese for lunch today at Baby Buddha in the West Village.  

My fortune cookie revealed to me the following:

"You love sports, horses and gambling but not to excess. :)"

Yeah, those things are pretty good I guess. Which reminds me that I haven't played poker in awhile. Maybe I should pick that up again.

Joaquin Phoenix to leave Movies for Music

via CNN.. Joaquin Phoenix announced that he is not acting in any more movies so he can pursue his music career.  

To express this to the public he wrote the words "GOOD BYE" on his knuckles.  

No one told him that when he holds his hands outward the words read "BYE! GOOD".  Which I guess means the same thing but I'm pretty sure it's not what he was going for.  

Who lets others dress their babies like this?

I was in a Rickey's Halloween store looking for a costume to wear to my friend Doug's party on Friday with my friend Karen.  

I came across the following costume for a Baby Batman.  

I'm actually pretty disturbed by this picture.  Even more so then when my eyes first came across it.  First of all the baby clearly can not see.  They put the bat man mask over the babies eyes.  Also the baby has no teeth yet (I guess you can't really tell based on my picture but you'll have to take my word for it).  The baby also seems extremely unhappy to be placed in this bat suit.  His/her face shows pure horror.  

I only hope this kid turns out alright.

Of course I instantly decided to be batman also for Halloween this year. 

Halloween '08 in Chelsea Market

They went to great lengths to disturb the children this year in Chelsea Market. That thing on the ground moves back and forth and its eyes light up.

I had a good time sipping my pumpkin shake and watching them scream repeatedly.  I just now realized that this is the 4th Halloween I've seen occur while working for a company inside Chelsea Market.  How the years fly by!

Sunny D

A thought and realization...

Sunny D isn't nearly as amazingly delicious as I remember it from my years as a 5th grader.

In fact it, it kind of tastes like shit.



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Unpopular Kareoke Songs

Tonight I sang the song Hell by Squirrel Nut Zippers at a bar doing karaoke. To my surprise it was not well received. After I was done the guy running the show said, "Well, that was something." The tone was very condescending. I was insulted.

Donkey Kong Remix on "Boy Friends"

My favorite video game themed song of the week on the most recent web-isode of "Boy Friends"

Awesome.



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